Thursday, 30 April 2009

Quote of the day 30th April

In response to a guy complaining that his leg curl weight
hasn't increased since he started dead lifting:

"That's like bitching about masturbation not being fun
anymore since you started dating a porn star"


Wednesday, 29 April 2009

Quote of the day 29th April

Soy milk is essentially Coffee-Mate laced with estrogen, and is best left to vegans and other socialist vegetarian types that can't bring themselves to eat the completely natural-for-humans flesh of our friends the Animals but who have no trouble with slaughtering trillions of our other friends the Plants and processing -- in gigantic factories run by multinational corporations with shareholders that eat meat themselves -- very selectively chosen components of their poor little bodies into gooey shit that humans have never had an opportunity to adapt to digesting.

Why, eating such material, with its high levels of isoflavones, touted by gynaecologists as tantamount to Estrogen Replacement Therapy (ERT), will make you grow boobs, and this will screw up the clean lines of this fine young man's Under Armor.

I recommend against it.


Tuesday, 28 April 2009

Quote of the day 28th April

...and since we all want big chesticles, we have to put some pec in it, ok? Chesticles are why we bench press, afteral.


Monday, 27 April 2009

Quote of the day 27th April

My own opinion of Greg [Glassman] is that he has done more to legitimize actual training in the minds of the public than any other person since Arthur Jones destroyed it in the mid-70s.


Sunday, 26 April 2009

Quote of the day 26th April

On steroids:

There are no shortcuts.
The fact that a shortcut is important to you means that you are a pussy.

Saturday, 25 April 2009

Quote of the day 25th April


"Leg Pressing is masturbation."


"Oh, come on. Masturbation isn't that bad."


"Oh, I didn't say it was bad. But at least when I masturbate, I am not under the impression that I'm making anybody else cum but me."


Friday, 24 April 2009

Quote of the day 24th April

The only legitimate use for a glove is to cover an injury...

A desire to prevent callus formation (possibly so as to not snag one's pantyhose)
does not constitute a legitimate use.


Thursday, 23 April 2009

Quote of the day 23rd April

"I alluded to this earlier, but I might as well be specific here: women don't give a shit about muscles.
Really. Women like money and a big dick.
Preferably both.


Wednesday, 22 April 2009

Quote of the day 22nd April

CrossFit has the potential to change the popular cultural perception of what exercise actually means over the next decade, and I will watch with delight as selectorized leg machines are melted down into more useful items like re-bar and manhole covers.


Tuesday, 21 April 2009

Quote of the Day 21st April 2009

It is because over thirty years of direct observation has demonstrated to me that when trainees drink one gallon of milk added to their regular diet and train in a progressive linear fashion, they gain significant muscular bodyweight, and those that do not drink their milk, even in the presence of progressive linear training, fail to do this.

They also fail to continue progressive linear training for the same length of time, because this is facilitated by the steady weight gain.

I understand that you're asking me if I have controlled for other factors such as failure to do the program correctly, and the answer is yes, of course I have, because I am not a complete idiot.

Those that will not do the program are not being considered when I make these remarks, because that would be too fucking obvious a hole in my analysis.

The difference in the milk drinkers is that THEY GET BIGGER THAN THE ONES WHO WON'T DRINK THE FUCKING MILK.

Please tell me that you understand this now.

Monday, 20 April 2009

Quote of the Day 20th April 2009

in response to a question about a protruding tailbone making bench pressing painful, Rip replys-

“I recommend that you grow an ass. This will solve many of your problems with training.”


Sunday, 19 April 2009

Quote of the Day 19th April 2009

Milk is quite literally better than steroids for a novice lifter to grow on, and no supplement produces the same effect.


Saturday, 18 April 2009

Quote of the Day 18th April 2009


Whenever i do dips, the second i let go of the bar it feels like a ton of pressure was just taken off my shoulders and upper pecs.

Do you know what causes this and what i can do about it?



Perhaps you weigh 2000 lbs., in which case your perception would be remarkably accurate.

Otherwise, you're probably just happy to be through with the set.

The remedy would be to never let go of the bar, but that is impractical.

I suppose I don't understand your question.


Friday, 17 April 2009

Quote of the Day 17th April 2009

In reference to a bicyclist who seemed to be saying that riding was similar to squats since they both made your legs hurt:

Yes they both hurt, but so do burning your hand and burying your bulldog. The differences are actually quite significant.

The trouble with cyclists is that their training establishment keeps reinforcing the silly bullshit that all recreational athletes want to believe: at some point, all serious athletes go outside their sport-specific work to improve, and recreational athletes just want to play their sport and wear the clothes.


Thursday, 16 April 2009

Quote of the Day 16th April 2009

Muscles don’t get leaner—you do.


Wednesday, 15 April 2009

Quote of the Day 15th April 2009

And no, you don't excrete excess calories, because evolution didn't see fit to exterminate the species in this way.

If that happened, fat people would be in zoos where they belong since they'd be quite rare.


Quote of the Day 14th April 2009

If you want to look like a bodybuilder, that's fine with me. That is a matter for you to discuss with your God and your psychologist.

But even a bodybuilder is a novice strength trainee until he's an intermediate.

The fastest way to gain muscular bodyweight -- the supposed goal of a bodybuilder -- is with a linear progression on the basic barbell exercises. And 5s are the way this progression works best.


Monday, 13 April 2009

Quote of the Day 13th April 2009

When a guy (Alex) asked what to do about his balls hurting after squats...

Alex, buddy, you're on your own here.
Unless we get some other input.
My balls haven't hurt since 1973, when I learned how to finish what I started.


Quote of the Day 12th April 2009

Any idiot can get on a treadmill and watch TV and then take great pride in the fact they've exercised.


Saturday, 11 April 2009

Quote of the Day 11th April 2009

The interesting thing is that everybody really already knows this, because there are few examples in life that don’t follow the basic rules of the universe, the ones that dictate the behavior of everything.

One of the most basic of those rules is that, with the exception of the occasional lottery winner, you pretty much get out of an effort what you put into it. We’re all quite familiar with this reality, although we are often willing to believe people who tell us otherwise, about exercise and about life.

The sooner everybody—both halves of the population—accepts the fact that effective exercise is more like training for athletics and less like lying around on the floor, more about performance and less about appearance, the sooner it will be understood that women really don’t need their own figure salon.

Friday, 10 April 2009

Quote of the Day 10th April 2009

"The Olympic Snatch is gymnastics with a bar".


Thursday, 9 April 2009

Quote of the Day 9th April 2009

I strongly advise against intentionally farting whilst moving heavy weights.

Sometimes -- especially under those circumstances -- farts have a solid center.


Wednesday, 8 April 2009

Quote of the Day 8th April 2009

What Rip says to people that claim that barbells are bad for kids...

I say, "Quit asking for my fucking data, and let me, finally, see yours.

You stupid fools keep telling us that it stunts a kid's growth, or injures the growth plates, or makes them all require back surgery, or turns their hair red, or all this other fantasy shit.

I am not interested in your opinion, since it has no basis in fact.


You may quote me.


Tuesday, 7 April 2009

Quote of the Day 7th April 2009

Question -

I only have exercise bikes available at my gym and was wondering what I could do with them. Could you think of any metcon workouts I could do that wouldn't be completely useless?

Rips Answer -

You can do 30 second all-out sprints with a moderate load, or Tabatas. Quite a hairy-ass experience, if done correctly.

Question –

When starting tabata should I use the empty bar?

Rips Answer –

On an exercise bicycle? Sure. Make a video.


Monday, 6 April 2009

Quote of the Day 6th April 2009

You must wear socks or workout pants on the Dead Lifts.

We don't want your DNA on the barbell.


Sunday, 5 April 2009

Quote of the Day 5th April 2009

Baby mammals drink milk, and you sir, are a baby mammal.


Saturday, 4 April 2009

Quote of the Day 4th April 2009

In response to a thread about eating raw eggs, Rip replies

“Let's stop a second to consider where eggs come from: they emerge from a chicken's feathery, unkempt, unpampered ass.

You'll do this until a little bit of goo remaining on a shell makes you sick as a horse for about 2 days. Then you'll stop eating raw eggs.”


Friday, 3 April 2009

Quote of the Day 3rd April 2009

You are right to be wary. There is much bullshit.

Be wary of me too, because I may be wrong.

Make up your own mind after you evaluate all the evidence and the logic.


Thursday, 2 April 2009

Quote of the Day 2nd April 2009

Testosterone levels peak in our mid-twenties,
hold relatively steady for another decade, and then
begin to fall like women’s clothes at the
kinds of parties we don’t get invited to any more.

Wednesday, 1 April 2009

Quote of the Day 1st April 2009

Only people willing to work to the point of discomfort on a regular basis using effective means to produce that discomfort will actually look like they have been other-than-comfortable most of the time.

You can thank the muscle magazines for these persistent misconceptions, along with the natural tendency of all normal humans to seek reasons to avoid hard physical exertion.